Category Archives: Motivation

First Gym Class


Ok so it’s not my first ever, in fact a couple years ago I use to be a regular at gym classes, the instructor knew my name (to my horror) and I would manage to squeeze them in before or after work.
But now, they scare me. It’s amazing how much confidence you can loose in such a short space of time. The things that make me anxious about these new gym classes are as follows:

– Where or which room is it held, I don’t want to be walking into the wrong place to find out its high intensity power lift?
– Will I be able to keep up with the class, or end up feeling worse then when I went in before?
– Can I handle a 360 degree angle of my flubber flying?
– Will I embarrass myself?

I’m sure many can relate to this and it’s been 5 months since I’ve been joined to this gym and only yesterday did I get the courage and motivation to actually step inside one of their gym classes and this was my experience.

So first was the class description- Cardio fitness a fun high energy class. Well this sounds OK said was for all fitness levels so I made the call and booked in.
After work I changed into my figure hugging gym clothes to make sure I would actually go and not chicken out (I find it helps to already be in gym gear).
Feeling hungry after a long day at work and a salad for lunch I browsed the isle at Tesco for a healthy snack and decided on roast chicken slices. Which I then felt too embarrassed to eat in the locker room. I mean it is a bit weird and random to be chowing on slabs on meat in there.
I found studio 1 and went in. My god there was a lot of mirrors I’m pretty sure even the ceiling was mirrored. I stared at my body in the reflection until the class started, I gazed at my newly formed rounded bits, the lines where my gym leggings cut into my stomach and how my arms and legs have lost all definition. This was not a good thing to do- please don’t do this to yourself it, destroys all motivation.
The instructor was a young fit good looking guy full of “can do ” attitude. We started with a rather vigorous warm up and this was the point I knew the next 45 mins was going to be tough. I was already out of breath.

Now most cardio classes I’ve been too either are like Zumba, aerobics, kick boxing or a mix of all of these. So this is what I expected. It was not.
This was more aligned with what you do in insanity. For people who don’t know what Insanity is think; using your own body weight, bear crawls, push ups, suicide runs etc.
I was not mentally or physically prepared for this to the point of where I got really dizzy and my eye sight went all patchy. I pushed through this for a while and then (during a short water refuel) left. Yes I left. Walked out. Abandoned ship. Did I feel good about this decision, no of course not but passing out was also not high on my to do list either.
I sat down for a couple minutes and then decided this is not the end, so hoped on a bicycle and peddled it out for another 20 mins. The dizziness soon went away and I felt proud of myself that I didn’t give up, I just changed direction.

Now I think there was a bigger lesson here to learn….

No I’m kidding.

Happy New 2016 everyone!

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When is enough, enough?

I wonder sometimes If I spent as much time as I do thinking and worrying about my weight and put that energy towards something else, like my career, social life, or creativity what amazing things I could get done? Sometimes I worry that i’m becoming obsessed with weight loss, which if I looked like a fitness model would make sense, but when there are zero to minimal results it all seems unhealthy outlook.

Then I see a picture like this and think F*ck it I want to look like that. Hand me the appetite suppressants.



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Why Vulnerable fat is harder to lose.

One of the things I dislike about being and feeling overweight is the fact that it publicity shows my vulnerability. It’s like my body reflects those moments of weakness, the bad choices and the gluttony that I allow myself to indulge in. The idea around being fit and strong appeals to me because it is more than a physical strength, it also reflects an inner strength and a persistence, a willpower that shows the world I can stop at one bite and I can put up a good fight at the gym.

For those of you that are familiar with Brene Browns work you will be yelling at the screen right now telling me it’s ok to be vulnerable, which in terms of weight loss is very applicable and I agree, as in order to lose weight you have to be vulnerable. It’s those moments when you step into the gym confronting a workout that you know will be tough, asking for help and support whether it’s professional or social, feeling hungry and uncomfortable and accepting that the way you have been living and treating yourself is harmful and can’t continue.

My lovely sister is brought me to the attention of Brene Brown and her work on vulnerability. I am not going to attempt to sum up her work as they are deep and profound and definitely worth a YouTube search, however there are some key aspects that really jumped out at me that I wanted to share with you.

The fear of being vulnerable: One of her main points is how we have formed a society that is scared of coming across as vulnerable, and that vulnerability is seen as a weakness of character. What’s interesting is she also talks about how being brave has been ingrained into our culture, but to be brave without vulnerability is somewhat impossible especially when you look at what the word vulnerable is defined as:

“Exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed either physically or emotionally”.

Therefore when it comes to being brave how can you NOT be vulnerable? Brown talks about how being courageous without this emotional exposure ends up resulting in plain bravado or “fake bravery”, and this fake bravery is one of the things wrong with our society today.

To really confront issues of emotional eating and self image anxiety, I believe it takes a lot of this true bravery. To show up at a Weight Watchers meeting or gym class, demonstrates not only your vulnerability but also your courageousness in confronting doing something about it. Everyone is different in their strengths, some may not have any issues with running in public (hats off to you), and some may struggle to share their body with someone else, have fear of eating in public, being in public, clothes shopping etc. The weight loss journey is a very personal one, and an honest one. If you do not allow yourself to be open and raw with your emotions then I believe you will find yourself going around in circles.

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Feeling flat?

Ahhh Mother Nature, aren’t her plateau’s beautiful…

Those heavenly rolling hills and deep crevasses…


Such beauty, such grace…


And then there are my plateaus….If only my rolling hills were as, shall we say “scenic”.



If only the wider I got, the more people would stop in awe and applause my greatness… maybe.. one day…

But in the mean time, I guess I’d better change some things up…

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Guilt free Easter ideas.

This Easter think Hot Buns. Not hot cross buns. 

Easter is coming, we all know this means mountains of chocolates, hot cross buns dripping in butter, and family dinners that leave you unbuttoning your pants.

But this Easter could be different! You don’t have to wear your fat pants this year, instead you could be one step closer to those ‘bitches be jealous skinny jeans’!


1)    Pot of carrots anyone?


Fill small bowls inside with Hummus or salsa.

Stick baby carrots in

Prick a small hole in the top to insert the parsley

There you go a very low cal snack, that will also impress the pants off your friends and family!

2)    Eggs…real eggs. Oh protein get in my belly.


Devilled eggs

1)    Make deviled eggs – and add a bit of carrot for the beak

2)    Display in an egg carton for novelty factor

3)    To make it lower in fat do the following:

Use 2/3 of the yolk (The yolks have most of the calories and fat in eggs. One yolk has 5 grams of fat and 54 calories, compared with only 16 calories and no fat in an egg white.) Instead, use nonfat cottage cheese to stand in for some of the yolks—it keeps the filling velvety and rich while reducing some of the fat

Instead Of Regular Mayo Choose Low-Fat. It has 15 calories per tablespoon and 1 gram of fat. It really is a miracle in creating a velvety filling.

Egg prawn cocktails?


3) Japanese Rice balls. Cause everyone loves a good set of balls.



(Use sesame seeds for the eyes, seaweed for the waist band)

4)    Bunch of eatable Tulips for the table?


Tomatoes stuffed with cottage cheese on chives – not really Easter themed but super cool.

So…what’s in it? – 13 large cherry tomatoes – 14 stalks of chives – 200g cottage cheese – 1 cucumber – ½ teaspoon dried basil – salt – pepper.

5)  And then there’s fruit…







6) Yogurt Berry Popsicle Eggs

ImageImageFor further instructions go to this website:

7) Other quirky food and decoration ideas, to distract you from the fact your on a healthy diet…








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I’m not really into the whole Protein shake thing, but for those of you that are…


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The magnificent empowering vegetable


Popeye hit the nail on the head. Vegetables are amazing. Not only are they low calorie but they taste good too, they give you energy and all the right goodies to keep you going, but this isn’t breaking news right?


In recent weeks I had some how forgotten how great vegetables really were and was seduced by cheese, toast, beer and other dastardly things.


But these past few days I’ve said no. I can’t keep doing this anymore, it’s not healthy, I’m sorry, Its not you its me.


And I’m happy to tell you fatties, (don’t forget I only mean that affectionately) I feel better already. Now, I’m not trying to claim that my whole entire system has cleansed itself, but my attitude has shifted back to one of dedication and steely-eyed determination. This is what I call empowerment, when you know what is good for you and you go for it. Because ain’t nobody found success by sitting on their ass all day long wishing away their life with their shoulda, woulda, coulda’s.

The amazing magical thing with food, is that there are options if you don’t want to go hungry…


Make an epic salad, pile on those veges, choose high protein foods that fill you up and make it delicious. There are literally thousands of recipes and ideas out there, and take it from me, an ex-vegetarian, vegetables can taste amazing. Because at the end of the day….




So fatties, lets make a deal, these next few weeks in the face of free donuts, potato chips, and taking the easy way out, we say:


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Please excuse me, I have to go make excuses now.

You may have noticed that I’m not the most determined at the moment. Part of me thinks I just got fed up with the no thank you’s and the counting calories and the getting up early to work out and just needed a break. But that doesn’t mean I gave up completely so everyday is pretty much like this:


And then my brain converts to this frame of mind…

ImageAnd so far this technique hasn’t worked….


But you know what they say, it’s all a journey and success is never a straight line… nope in my case it’s a spaghetti and cheese shaped line. But in this dip of motivation I’ve learnt a few things, one being that I’m a stress eater.

I haven’t been truly stressed for a while so in my past year of self discovery it slipped through the cracks…. And then it hit. The hunger pangs, the bottomless pit of a stomach, the comfort knowing at the end of the day I have something yummy to look forward to.


I knew that I was an emotional eater, I eat when I’m sad, when I bored, when I’m lonely. But being stressed and anxious is a new one. (yay yet another thing to work on). It wasn’t until talking to my recently buffed up flatmate who measures out every meal/ protein shake to the milligram, that I truly saw this new affliction for what it was… an EXCUSE. Everything that was coming out of mouth was an excuse…. “oh it’s been hard lately because of all the birthday parties, then I get drunk and end up eating late night takeaways”…. The way I describe this situation one would think Ronald McDonald himself was force feeding me burgers at 3am in the morning.


Or I would say “But they keep offering me free cake and biscuits at work”, “I have a lot to do at work so I don’t want to go to gym before work or else then I’ll be tired”. You name it I have an excuse for it, and the worst part is that I’m very convincing not just to myself but to the people around me and they start agreeing with me!

Oh god I think it’s time for Dr Phil. 


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